There are people who will actually get pissed off at you for being happy.  Misery loves company and they want to bring you down.  They blame other people for what happens to them, and they think that you are full of shit if you are happy.  If you are happy it is because no one has screwed you over, it has nothing to do with your attitude and they can prove it.

They will give you a very long laundry list of examples of who screwed them over, how they did it, and of all the things that are going wrong and are challenging them.  They say you don’t have these challenges, you have it much easier than they do!

They do everything they can to justify why they are choosing to feel so shitty.  And YES, IT IS A CHOICE.  The more things they think of, the more things they create.  Seemingly out of the blue.  I got a ticket, I lost my job, my relationship is on the rocks, my kids are out of control.  They refuse to see any good in anything, and they do everything in their power to suck you into their vortex.

This can be especially challenging for those of you who are empaths.  You feel their pain, you often diffuse their shit for them.  You take it on and make it your own, and then you get depressed and sleep for days.

You know how powerful they are.  You know how powerful you are.  You just can’t seem to show them, no matter what you do, how to feel better.  You try and you try.  You share a different perspective with them (look on the bright side), you try and share and/or show all the possibilities.  You remind them that they are creators, and you try your best to uplift.

After sometimes hours of trying to pull them out of their funk, you start to give them examples of times your life went to shit and how you pulled yourself out of it.  You give them example after example of how things that “appear” bad, can actually be good.  They still don’t get it.

They may feel better for a while after you talk to them, but it never lasts.  The reason they feel better after talking to you is because you have taken on all their shit.  That’s why you start to feel bad.  You feel guilty for being okay.

This is not your stuff.  The person you were talking to takes no personal responsibility for their own stuff.  They have no idea that they are powerful beyond measure and that they create their own lives.  They blame everyone else for everything that happens to them.  You, being compassionate and empathetic start to feel what they feel (which is that we are responsible for how other people feel).  You are healers and light workers and you have taken on responsibility for how they feel ~ this is a distortion of your energy.

You have helped so many people just with your presence that you know you can help this person too.  That’s why you take on their stuff.  If you can just take on some of their stuff and lighten their load, then they will be able to see and feel a shift, and will be able to move forward a little more positively.

Thing is, this NEVER works.  That is why I charge for what I do.  If someone is paying me to help them shift their energy, they will do everything they can to take some personal responsibility for how they feel and they will WORK the shift.  People who feel very disempowered don’t see the value in this.  Us happy light workers just have our heads up our asses, and we don’t get it.  We’ve never been through this kind of tough stuff.

I’m writing this post because I’ve had a friend ask me a question.  This is the note she sent in its entirety.

Humanity has been programmed to believe that taking care of ourselves first is selfish

Society was set up this way by some not so scrupulous souls.  They did not want anyone to know just how powerful we are so they set up religions, and belief systems so that those of us who are not ‘in power’ feel (and therefore are) powerless.  They did not want us to see and feel our own power, they could not control us that way.  They know that if they could keep us powerless then we could not uplift anyone else; we’d be too worried about how we were going to survive.

We are the powerful ones as well; we just need to de-program ourselves.  For me personally, my deprogramming was hard.  I felt a lot of guilt.  Much like peeling the layers of an onion, my deprogramming is still a work in progress.  It was this deprogramming though that is bringing my words to you.  If I felt powerless and guilty all the time, I wouldn’t be writing anything to help you.  I wouldn’t be connecting to Source for you and doing readings either.  I was raised to believe that with faith we could do anything, but I was also raised that money was bad and was a limited resource.  That if I had money then someone else would go without it.

Did your parents ever say “finish your dinner there are kids on the other side of the world starving”.  What does you not eating your dinner have to do with a child on the other side of the world?  Its not like you could teleport your dinner to them.  This is the start of ‘guilt programming’.  I have access to this, but others do not, I must feel badly about it because my parents say so.

You likely have beliefs like this around money as well.  A part of you may say “I better make sure I don’t have any”.  You have heard ‘programs’ about money your whole life.  References to ‘the little guy never gets ahead’, or how people who provide your food to you are ‘gouging’ you.  (or gas for your car, or heat for your home, government and taxes ~ all BAD GUYS).  These people are “EVIL” and you don’t want to be like them.  You’d better make sure you don’t have anything or people will be mad at you and judge you just as they, and you, judge others.

Remember, you having something cannot take something away from someone else.  The Universe has an unlimited source of everything.  This in turn means, that when you empower yourself, NO ONE can take anything from you either.

About 15 years ago I started to share that the separation of humans on our planet was getting bigger and bigger.  Many of you are noticing this as well, you’ve heard the phrase “the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer”.  That saying is about money though.  You need to realize that this is happening on a Spiritual Level as well.

Those that are spiritually rich are getting spiritually richer, and those that are and have been disconnected from source are feeling more and more disconnected and disempowered.  They are programmed to believe that if they have something good, then someone else is doing without.  It doesn’t matter the subject, financial wealth, “special” relationships, job/work, health.  They have been programmed to believe that they live in a LIMITED environment and they will do WHATEVER THEY CAN, EVEN AT THE RISK OF THEIR OWN HEALTH AND SAFETY, to prove this point.

You CAN’T tell them any different and have them hear you.  They may listen, they may say ‘okay’, they may feel better for a short time.  But they can’t hear you.  That is not a part of their reality and you cannot create someone else’s reality for them.

When people come to me for help, they are ready to shift their reality.  As a matter of fact, 99% have already started to shift their reality and they need my help to understand it and use it and bring their understanding or life to the next level.  There are many people who pop by my website, read a few lines and just move on.  They search for “Psychic” and want someone to tell them their fortune and what they must do and I’m not that person.  These are NOT people I can help, and these are NOT the people who contact me.

We ALL Have Something to Mourn

There is not a person on the planet that has not lost something that was very important to them. A loved one who has died; a relationship that ended; money that disappeared; health challenges; jobs lost… the list goes on and on.  We have all lost something important to us.

The difference between a ‘victim’ and someone who uses the loss to propel themselves forward on a new path is how long they CHOOSE to mourn.  We all mourn our losses.  How long your choose to mourn a loss is up to you.  A week, month, year, decade, the rest of your life?

You help no one by engaging them in looking backwards.  It is a choice to stay stuck in a place of living in the past.  Even if the present is challenging, you know from personal experience it can be shifted by changing your perception and how you look at it.

If you choose to look back and to focus on the discomfort you are living now, you will continue to attract more discomfort.  That is the Law of Attraction.  Period.  You know that if you practice awareness of your thoughts and actions you can in a matter of 67 seconds change your reality.

You are an empath though, it pains you to see others suffer.  So back to the title of this post.  Your suffering will not help anyone else ~ EVER.  You can have some compassion for others without taking their stuff for them.  You will need to disconnect from their energy, cut those cords.  Then you will need to make darn sure that they do not re-attach, or if they do, you will need to cut them again.

You need to stop feeling guilty for being okay.  You have been through challenges too, you took at least some personal responsibility for how you felt or you wouldn’t be where you are today.

You need to limit the amount of time you spend with them.  This can be hard because you care.

Which leads to:  You will need to get to work on your own personal programming.  The programming that tells you it is not fair to be okay when others are suffering.  The part that says you must give to others even if you have nothing yourself.  Like, what the heck?  How can you give something you do not have.  You cannot lift other’s out of the gutter if you are in the sewer.

You need to remember that at times when you were feeling badly no one could MAKE you feel any other way.  They could take your mind off of things perhaps, they could give you a pep talk, remind you who you are, help you look forward; but ~ it was YOU that chose to ride the wave of positivity that they helped you create.  YOU.  There may have been times where someone pulled you out of a funk and after they left you went right back to where you were before.  Did they do this to you?  NO.  You changed your thoughts from where you were when you were with them, to something in the past, or how bad things were.  YOU DID IT.

You are where you are now because you embraced your power and DECIDED to feel better.  You woke up one morning and said “I want to feel good” and you did.  Because you were ready for whatever reason, it felt almost a little bit easy to you.  You picked up some books, listened to audios, spent time meditating or whatever it was you did.  You said “I’m going to be okay dammit, I don’t care what anyone else thinks”.  You broke up the (self) pity party and sent the guests home.

Ever since you have been trying to uplift others.  It feels so good, YOU feel so good, you really want everyone to feel as good as you feel.  You revert back to the old adage “misery loves company”, and you sometimes end up being company for miserable people.  This lowers your vibration and you feel horrible.

You can see their light.  You can feel their soul.   You can understand, you have been where they are.

Your solution then is to keep your vibration where you want it.  Your #1 priority needs to be that you feel good.  Even us empaths can disconnect when we DECIDE.  Tell yourself “I will stay in my own energy”, affirm that and then do it ~ use that part of the power that you know you have.

The victims and disempowered people will stop showing up for you that way.  Even victims have moments of happiness.  They will only show up for you when they are in that state if you keep your own vibration.  They will be more able to see their own light if you stay in yours.  Or they won’t and you need to be okay with that!  If you are okay with it and it makes them uncomfortable they will have less and less contact with you.

Maybe their life will get worse, or maybe it will get better.  That part is not your responsibility.  If you are okay, you have the potential to positively impact tens, or hundreds, or thousands, or millions of other people.  Think about that.  You cannot spend your time lowering your vibration for one person at the risk of NOT helping millions.

You do not need to do this with anger (that would be lowering your vibration).  You do it with love and respect.  Love the people you cannot help right this minute.  You can pray for them, but you need to pray for who you know they are.   You do not pray and send energy to what is wrong with them.  Just as war does not stop fighting, focusing on what is “wrong” with someone will not help what is ‘right’ shine in their life.  It is okay to send them love and to pray that they feel better.  It is not effective to dictate what will make them feel better.  That is their job and their choice.

So, I guess in summary, I would like to point out that you can have compassion and empathy for others without losing your own sense of what you have accomplished, and without losing your own high vibration.  If you ever find yourself being angry or argumentative with someone who is complaining about being a victim, you need to disconnect from them.  You cannot fix everyone, even though your light worker soul wishes you could.  If you take care of your own vibration FIRST it will be easier to let them be and send them love.

You have planted some seeds.  Your work may be done at this point.  You cannot control how your ‘neighbour’ either fertilizes these seeds, or poisons them.  That will be their choice.

If you are ready to have someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

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