4 Signs You are a “Fixer”

So what is a fixer?  Usually a fixer is someone who wants to help others.

 

This blog post is about the good and the bad about being a ‘fixer’.  It has its perks and it has its challenges.

Signs you are a fixer:

1.  You really want to help people feel better

You are generally an optimist and you can see the good in someone (or their situation) even if they can’t see it themselves.  You say and do things to try and help them get through things; you listen, you talk, you try to help.

2.  You put a lot of stock in your ability to fix other people or their problems

You take pride in the fact that people often feel better after they talk to you.  You put yourself out there as a ‘counsellor’ to your friends, co-workers, or family.  You feel good when you can help others.

3.  You sometimes take responsibility for how other people feel

If you are trying to help someone and they don’t feel better after they talk to you, or worse yet, they don’t take your advice, you feel like a failure.  You think you should be able to help everyone, no matter what.

4.  You are often an Empath

Often the reason you want to ‘fix’ people, is because you genuinely feel what they feel.  It goes beyond just understanding how they feel, you feel their feelings.  You know they feel awful and you want to alleviate that for them (and for you).

Many counsellors, health care practitioners and energy workers are fixers.  And it serves a wonderful purpose for both healer and ‘patient’.

I am a fixer, have been for most of my life.  Over the years I have come to some realizations though, and I want to share them with you.

As someone who does energy work for a living, being a fixer serves me most of the time.  People come to me and pay me to help them understand things in a new way, or to help them change a perception, or heal in some area of their life (or for many other reasons, the list is long).

In this way, being a fixer helps me on my chosen path in this lifetime; and it also helps my clients reach a new level in their own life.

However….

There are some downfalls to being a fixer:

You cannot fix things for others; nor can you fix them.  No one can help anyone unless they want help and are willing to make changes and do what it takes to implement any changes the fixer suggests.

Where it gets tricky for me is when it comes to people in my life that have not come to me in a professional capacity, I need to put my ‘fixer hat’ in the closet and just be me ~ mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter…. (if I get messages from Spirit for friends, I do share those though).

If you try and fix people who don’t want your help, you will often just annoy them (whether they tell you so or not).  They may say things like “Yeah, but you don’t know what I’m going through”.  Or it will get to a point where they argue their point of why they are justified in feeling horrible; in this case trying to fix something actually makes it worse.

Doesn’t matter that you really feel what they feel, or that you know how they can feel better – they haven’t asked, so stay out of it.  Maybe they just need to vent.

Most co-dependents are ‘fixers’.  They live with an alcoholic or drug addict and think they know how to fix them.  Then they blame themselves when their mate keeps drinking/drugging.  Or they live with an abuser and blame themselves for not being good enough to fix the other person ~ when really no one is fixable anyway.  Yes, people can change, but it takes some work and some dedication, not something a fixer can do for someone else.

When you feel badly that you can’t fix someone it means that YOU are out of balance

When I first got that message for myself I didn’t like it.  I was like what?!?!!  I am here on earth to help people!  I am an empath, I feel their pain, I have to make it go away!

Here is what happens in steps:

• You feel good
• You connect with someone who doesn’t feel good
• You feel their discomfort and make it your own
• You take it as your responsibility to make them feel better
• They don’t feel better
• Maybe they even get annoyed with you
• When you think you are not helping (or that they are not listening), or they get annoyed with you, you feel worse ?~ “how can they not get it?”
• You blame them for you feeling badly, perhaps even saying “they make me feel bad”, how can I get them to understand how to feel better (you still trying to fix them)
• Or you will say “I can’t talk to that person, they are too negative” (you feeling badly)
• When you are judging them and blaming them you are thrown right out of your own sense of well-being (Vortex), and your vibration lowers.

Here is the cure for those “negative people in your life”

Accept where they are.  Love them.  Remember, we all have our own story and our own path.  Stop trying to fix them and keep your own vibration high.

Love

Tamara

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

Just remember, I can’t fix you 🙂

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.