Self Care ~ Stop Running Around in Circles!!!

Do you feel like no matter what you do nothing ever gets done and that you keep doing the same things over and over and nothing ever gets done?

You are not alone!

Its an energy thing.  There are many people on the planet that seem to think that the more you do, the more you have the busier you are the better a person you are.  Or that being busy means you are ‘successful’, or that you are ‘super woman’ or ‘super man’.

That is so not the case.  If you are successful it means that you have a life you love.  If you are ‘super person’ then you should be happy as well.  If you aren’t happy and you aren’t living the life you love, then you are neither successful nor “super”.  You are simply stressed out trying to be everything to everyone.

It won’t work, you can’t sustain it.  Sooner or later you will get burnt out or sick or lose your loved ones (or quality time with your loved ones and your relationships will suffer).  That is no kind of life to live.

How do you answer these questions about Self Care?

How do you feel when you try to relax?  Can you do it?  Can you live in your moment and just be happy?  Or do you just think about what’s next?  Do you go to bed feeling like you got the important stuff done and sleep well?  Or do you lie in bed focused on what didn’t get done?  Are you able to make it to appointments on time or are you always rushing around, driving like a maniac trying to get to your next ‘event’?  Do you sign up for committees or volunteer work when you are already strapped for time?

The people in your life, including your spouse and children really can cope without you being everything to them all the time.  You really do teach people how to treat you.  If you are always thinking you have to look after other people, guess what.  You will always be having to look after other people.

The good news is that if you are always thinking you have to look after yourself, you will always find ways to look after you!!!

I know first hand how hard it can be.  I have a son and a husband.  I want them to be happy.  I learned a long time ago though that I can’t be responsible for their happiness.  However, I do things all the time to “make them happy”.   I’m not saying to stop being kind to others.  Sometimes I will surprise my family with a gift, or something special for dinner, or give them a hug and tell them how much I love them ~ or my favourite, just sitting with them, talking, asking them how their day was and being fully present with them and interacting with them.  That is one of the favourite ‘gifts’ I give my family.  I work a lot and I really enjoy being fully present with the people I love and care about.  It makes them happy and it makes me happy.

(Please don’t confuse doing nice loving things for people with “trying to make other people happy” ~ in the end everyone is responsible for their own happiness).

Things to remove permanently from your life

• The need to be everything to everyone
• Taking responsibility for other peoples crap (including their happiness)
• The need for your house to look perfect all the time
• The need to be busy all the time (relaxing doesn’t mean you are lazy, it means you like yourself enough to take a break).
• Negative people that are never happy no matter what you do to try and please them
• Staying up too late and missing out on a good sleep.  Most people need 7-8 hours of sleep a night.  If you are regularly getting less sleep than this you won’t be as effective in your life.  Lack of sleep also impacts your coping skills ~ maybe you are just running around in circles because you are tired and ungrounded.
• Doing things for your children that you should be teaching them to do for themselves.  Yes 5 year olds can learn to make a sandwich, and 10 year olds can clean a bathroom.
• Cleaning up after your family ~ much quicker and easier to teach them to clean up after themselves (sometimes this can take a bit of effort on your part but it CAN be done).  You can spend 3 weeks reminding them (or nicely asking them for help), or the rest of your life doing it for them.  Seems like a no-brainer to me.
• Being a perfectionist.  Sometimes running a vacuum over the middle of the living room really is good-enough for today.
• Unless you have trained yourself to bend time, stop trying to do more than any one person could do in a day.  It just makes you feel like a failure every night when you go to bed and things are left undone.
• Take time to meditate and ground your energy.  I’m not kidding, grounding your energy and going within energizes you, I GUARANTEE that if you take the 10 minutes out of your day to do this you will get more done.

Its not really that hard to get off the merry-go-round, you just have to decide that its time.  If you make the decision that your health (mental and physical) and happiness is just as important as everyone else’s happiness, magical things will happen for you.

 

 

 

 

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