Being positive doesn’t mean that you don’t feel your feelings or that you never have negative feelings. It IS unhealthy (does not serve your highest and best good) to push down your feelings, the energy then just gets stuck in your body. Being “positive” and not allowing yourself to acknowledge, fully feel and process your feelings is spiritual bypassing (or emotional bypassing).
True positivity means that you feel your feelings, you process your feelings, and then you try your best to feel as good as you can in this moment. For example, if you are angry at something or someone and you squish down your angry feelings without dealing with the feelings, that unexpressed, unprocessed anger becomes invert and can turn into depression.
A positive state when you are angry might be to journal or brainstorm about it. Just let it out and FEEL it. Once you allow yourself to truly feel, THEN maybe you can try and do energy work, have a nap or think some thoughts that feel a little better to you. It is just as important to feel and process your feelings as it is to be positive. Maybe more so.
When my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I didn’t pretend it wasn’t happening. That is just denial and wouldn’t have served me. I cried – A LOT – for days on end sometimes. I slept, I journaled. Then I cried some more. This was me feeling my feelings.
When I was feeling sad, I just let it pour out of me. Sometimes as I was bawling my eyes out, I would say to myself, “It is good to cry. It feels good. I am releasing this out of my physical body.” For me, that was the most positive I could be in that moment. Then sometimes I could bring it a little farther. I could say, “I won’t feel like this forever. It is okay that I feel like this now. This is normal, this is natural.” When I wasn’t in an actively sad state, sometimes I would even connect with other people who had gone through what I was going through, people who understood. I would look at where they were years later and tell myself that I would be okay. I would get through this. Sometimes, even when I said that, “I will be okay, I will get through this.” I would add, “But OMG this hurts so bad. I’ve never felt anything like this before.”
I’m sharing this because I so often post about positivity, positive thoughts and positive thinking. I don’t want anyone to get stuck in denying how they truly feel in the moment.
Much Love on your journey!
❤️ Tamara
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